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About Literature / Student Member jenniferFemale/United Kingdom Group :iconblood-vow: Blood-Vow
 
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:iconlacoterie: Hey, I've been trying to think of something to say about this for a while now. Sometimes I have a lot of trouble actually wording my ...

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The earth for all its years could sing without me.
Past the sky, the listening spheres sing without me.

Deep in the woods, the nymphs and spirits flit
through the old trees. They hear, but sing without me.

Within my heartstrings hums the flesh of beasts,
threads with no bloody veneer - sing without me.

Now the crawling creatures are left alone
while silvered sounding veins near sing without me.

Carvings and curves of a feminine feel,
like ink into her back seared - sing without me.

Artists work my tongue with pen and horsehair -
groups of musicians here won't sing without me.

With ease, I can mimic the human voice;
to great peaks I dive and rear, so sing without me.

I don't need your voice. I am in command
of sonorous solos. Dear, sing without me,

or try. My fairy, phantom garbed in white,
you couldn't bear, puppeteer, sing without me.
little violone
Little violone, or vitula will be the title. I haven't decided yet. Little violone is the meaning of the cello's full name 'violoncello' - a hearkening back to when our favourite wooden instruments were still referred to as 'viols'.
The violone was the early version of the Double bass. Funny really - I always thought violoncello meant 'big violin' XD though I suppose that'd be the viola.

Vitula, meanwhile, is the origin of the word, meaning 'stringed instrument'.
Though truthfully, I'm leaning towards 'little violone' since this Ghazal directly refers to the cello. A bit more exacting, y'know?

Also, a quick note: 'My fairy, phantom garbed in white' is a phrase referencing my name, Jenny. As far as I can tell, it's a cornish form of Guinevere, which means 'white fairy/phantom/enchantress'. This is only from what bare wiki can tell, but it gave full origins, even the origins of the name guinevere, so it seems fairly legit. I think there's another meaning referencing juniper somewhere, but that's boring. White phantom is much cooler :D

This is for my creative writing assignment, one of 7 poems, 4 which had to be in differing traditional forms, and 3 in different voices.

To be more specific:
- how well do you think it fits with the form? I've pushed the rules once or twice, as is my habit, but what do you reckon?
- what do you think of the imagery relating to the cello?
- there's a few lines that bother me, such as 'dear, sing without me,' and 'coiled metal seals the nuclear' - do they make sense? Are there any lines that don't, grammatically or image-wise?
- do you agree with my choice of title, or do you think it should be vitula, or even something else?
- Any other thoughts?


edit: fixed the last couplet, which was linked to the penultimate by enjambment - a big no-no with ghazals :D
editit: changed the last couplet back after consulting my tutor, who liked it too :D
editide: yes! finally fixed that daft nuclear line! It's been bugging me for ages
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Ok, so Robert Shearman is an awesome person and writer and I am definitely getting one of his short story collections when I get around to it. He wrote the Doctor Who episode 'Dalek', in case you're wondering. Yeah, a really decent episode. I suddenly feel so misty-eyed. Hell, I guess I really like Dark Doctor Episodes x3 I want more of those angsty feels.

Di I mention? Robot Shearman came to my uni and did a talk. One of my lecturers was running it and she looked like she was very close to fangirling C:

Also, I miss the fancy journal layouts... *sigh* back to basics for now, ne?

Now, to my ps2, Steam (I need to test a dongle thigummy my housemate lent me) or more Anime? I have too many series to catch up on...

yeah, yeah, I know what I should be doing. I also know what I'm not doing.

Oh, and by the way? The Winter Soldier is really really really awesome and everyone should watch it.

ciaooooo

edit: I just realised I put Robot in place of Robert. Bollocks. *shakes fist at subconscious*
  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Reading: Pride and Prejudice
  • Watching: Sailor Moon S
  • Playing: Jak 2: Renegade... again
  • Drinking: Pepsi

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Lychalis
jennifer
Artist | Student | Literature
United Kingdom
Poet by name,
pretentious by nature.

There's a novel in my chest:
split my ribs, pull it out,
have a read -
bedtime literature.

I hope you
remember my
name, strange creature.

Love you too much for words, Snubbs :heart:

Blood Vow: A House of Night RPG - Blood Vow: A House of Night RPG

Current Residence: Sutton
Favourite genre of music: Alternative, Electronic
Operating System: Windows 7
MP3 player of choice: Ipod
Personal Quote: Insanity is a virtue.
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:iconpierreartou:
PierreARtou Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the watch ! :D
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:iconlychalis:
Lychalis Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014  Student Writer
You're welcome!

I'll let you know if any of your artwork inspires my writing :D
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:iconpierreartou:
PierreARtou Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That would be a pleasure ! :)
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:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014   Writer
happy birthday :heart: :D
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:iconlychalis:
Lychalis Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Student Writer
thank youuuuuu ^_^
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:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the :+fav: and the lovely comments!
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:iconlychalis:
Lychalis Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2013  Student Writer
no prob :D
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:iconpoca-purpleberry:
Poca-purpleberry Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fave
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:iconlychalis:
Lychalis Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Student Writer
no problemo amigo!
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:iconpoca-purpleberry:
Poca-purpleberry Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
THank you so much for the fave :)
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